Just a warning this ended up being a long one…… It has been awhile since I have updated everyone. I’m sorry for that. 2020 started out a little rocky. I was diagnosed with mono and it hit pretty hard. It was kind of a domino effect through our house after that. Brylan was hit the hardest and we ended up having to isolate him at the end of February so we have gotten pretty good at navigating the “quarantine” days. Everyone is healthy now and so grateful for it. Though it I truly had to rest. That is something that is not very easy for me, but I was forced to lay on the couch because my body wouldn’t allow me to do anything else. It was amazing how I may have been physically resting, but mentally my brain was in a million directions. It took awhile but God has settled that inner dialog and has truly helped me find rest in my mind. Fast forward to now I am so grateful for the lesson. Needless to say that is why I haven’t been on the computer or really had the strength to form sentences. 🙂
I know we are all in the midst of learning how to rest and trust in the unknown. I pray that everyone is finding their rhythm in their new normal.
NOW FOR THE UPDATE:
Elle is doing amazing. She is coming out of her shell more and more each day. She loves to dance and is beginning to play with her toys more. She is realizing that this is a safe place. We pray each day a little more of the trauma that she has endured fades away. John and her have the sweetest relationship now. She has definitely warmed up and began to trust him. This time around has been a little more difficult to let our walls down and allow our hearts to love, but God has been so faithful and so gentle with us all. The boys of coarse love without holding back. They continue to amaze me, and are a daily picture of that childlike faith God talks about. I think it really has been hardest on John, and I. Grace leaving our home was super hard on all of us, but it took Elle to see how much our hearts hurt. Sometimes as foster parents you don’t feel like you have a right to feel certain ways. We are learning that our feelings are valid and ok. We just have to continually give them to God and continue to pray for clarity on His will. He has continually been faithful to mold us and align our feelings with Him.
We have made great strides in the last few months. Being quarantined together has done wonders to our relationship. It has given us time to really slow down and bond which is amazing, and to be honest a little scary. She has slowly but surly made her sweet way into our hearts and become part of our family. She has helped heal the wounds of the loss we felt with Grace leaving. Not because we would ever look to her to replace Grace, but because God has used her to show us that we can love another child with the same love we love Grace. We don’t have to be afraid of the future or the outcome because He has proven over and over again to be the faithful God that He promises He is. He brought us through and used the journey to bring us to this place with her. She is a constant reminder that no matter what we have come from God is in the business of not only repairing the wound but COMPLETELY healing it. I heard a song awhile ago that really spoke to my heart and helped put words to how we have felt on this journey. It is called Scars by I Am They. Part of the lyrics were, “So I’m thankful for the scars ‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart. I posted a link below if you want to check out the whole song.
The trials and pain in life definitely can leave scars but we are learning that isn’t a negative. The scars don’t have to be ugly reminders of your hurt. They can be a reminder where you have been and how God has brought you through it. This foster care journey has definitely left scars, but we truly would not have it any other way. He continues to use it to prune us. We have gotten to see our Father’s heart in a way I would never ever take back!
Quick Grace update: She is doing amazing. I will make another post at some point on details of what God has done for her and their family. He is showing up big time. They spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, which was truly such a blessing. We get to see them at least once a week and have the occasional sleep over. If you ask the boys they have 3 new siblings. They tell people we have 8 kids all the time. haha
*That they will approve teleheath so she can start her therapies. They were supposed to start right when all the shut down happened.
*Elle’s worker, her supervisor, casa worker, the attorneys, and the judge to see every red flag and to make decisions that is her best interest.
*birth parents- if I’m honest I don’t really know what to pray. Our prayer has been that they can do what is best for Elle and that somehow through this process they can see Jesus. I am still working through feelings and emotions of what we have learned, but we do want them to be touched by Jesus.
*Elle’s biological grandma and other siblings- She has made the very hard decision that she can not care for Elle, but she is caring for her 2 brothers. It is a lot for these family members to take on. At some point we do wish to have contact with them. Please pray for clarity on timing of that and how it will be done.
*For Melinda and Philip (grace’s parents) that they will come to church with us and the kids.
Please let us know how we can pray for you all too! We know a lot is going on and this virus is effecting everyone in different ways.